When I won front row tickets for Madonna's "Confessions Tour" concert in San Jose on 5/31/06, I knew this would be my once-in-a-lifetime chance to get Madonna's attention. I came up with an idea to create a T-shirt with big lettering that said "FRONT ROW BITCH." I figured it would be visible from the stage and suspected that it might match Madonna's sense of humor...
I knew I was on the right track when two members of Madonna's tour crew gave me the thumbs up before the show and one even took my picture. After the show started, Madonna gave me a big smile when she first saw the shirt, and played to me all night long! I got glances and smiles as she marched by during "Get Together," "Like A Virgin," and "Jump," and she was looking at me so much during "I Love New York" the guys next to me said she was singing it to me! After the song, she said "All you front row bitches are distracting me...Let's hear it for the front row bitches!" (clip) I just about died right there. At another point during the show, between numbers, Madonna said: "You guys are great. Thank you! Thank you for all the love......especially the front row bitches!" (clip) Madonna looked at me, smiled at me, and played to me a few more times during the show, including singing three lines of "La Isla Bonita" right in front of me, and even tried to put the microphone near my face during "Hung Up."
Some crappy cell phone pics on this page document the event. Note the picture of Madonna bending down toward me with a big smile!
So close!!! It was an experience of a lifetime...I'd seen Madonna 11 times before (in 7 different North American cities!) but the show was never like this...
...but it didn't end there.
I saw her next show in Los Angeles on 6/3/06 (from crappy nosebleed seats) and Madonna said "What about you people behind the front row bitches," (clip) while trying to get the 2nd row to sing with her... and I realized that I'd put the expression "Front Row Bitch" in her head on Wednesday and it was still kicking around in some corner of her brain that Saturday night.
It's spreading...like a disease! It's taken on a life of it's own! There's evidence of learning!
OK, I exaggerate, but you get the idea...SHE KEEPS SAYING IT!!!
As Madonna's show marches eastward around the planet, I've noticed on fan sites (madonnalicious.com, madonnatribe.com, etc.) that she's referred to her "front row bitches" numerous times:
"We have some special front row bitches in the audience tonight,"
– in response to a fan with a "Detroit's Front Row Bitch" T-shirt, Chicago 6/20/06 (clip)
"It's time to rise and shine, motherfuckers...If you're gonna be my front row bitches, you better be up for it!"
– in response to a sluggish front row crowd, Chicago 6/14/06
"I want to let all you front row bitches know that I really appreciate you!"
– Phoenix, 6/10/06
I feel lucky to have had this experience and even more honored that I've been able to contribute in this small, weird way to the phenomenon that is a Madonna tour.
FAQ: Who the hell are you?
Just a 33 year-old office manager living in San Francisco... I'm also part of a 4.5 year-old sketch comedy duo called Uphill Both Ways (www.uphillbothways.com) that performs in SF regularly and has also made festival appearances in NYC, Chicago, Los Angeles, Dallas, Atlanta, Washington DC and Vancouver.
From time to time I've even performed some Madonna paroides, such as "Canadian Life" (spoof of "American Life") and "Pope Audition" (spoof of "Vogue"). Below are some clips for your amusement.
